Two kinds of "can't"

After observing human behavior (including my own), I noticed that there are two kinds of “can’t.” As in: “I can’t do that.”

One kind of can’t is a recognition of an inability or inadequacy…but “I will try to do my best, or try my best to learn how.” I

The other kind of “can’t” is a verbalization of refusal. As in: “I can’t because I won’t do that. I refuse. My mind is made up and closed to what you are asking.”

I have encountered both of these kinds of “can’t” in the corporate and church world.

The can’t refusal is the most dangerous because it reflects a resistance to change....which causes stagnation because in order to grow, change has to happen. If we don’t change, we don’t grow.

The other kind of can’t (which recognizes inability) is an openness to change and growth. Though it might be scary and an uncertain, uncomfortable state, we can rely on another’s support in order to get through the change. Through the physical, emotional and spiritual support of friends, we can move through this kind of can’t because we are open. We accept assistance. We allow ourselves vulnerability and place trust in another to help us through change. As a result, growth happens, and growth happens together. Change and growth become a group effort—a friendly effort—a community effort. AND, when we arrive to “I can,” we find the whole community is stronger for having supported each other.

So, the next time you answer, “I can’t,” think about which of the kinds of can’t you are referring. Are you open to change and growth? Or, are you closed and prefer to stagnate?

….Something to think and pray about.

Let us pray for the grace that we CAN be always open to change and growth. Let us support each other: physically, emotionally and spiritually through the changes of our lives….the changes that allow our community to grow and become stronger.

That we all may be ONE…..

A very thin, waxing crescent moon rose above me in the sky as I drove east on I-12 this morning. Though the Moon was barely lit from the Sun, the sunlight was just enough to show its crescent 3D smile which turned from red to orange then to white as it climbed up in front and above me. And, as Sister Moon put on this game of tag, rising as I drove toward her, I prayed with St Francis for peace within myself and for our community and peace for the world.
Jesus not wanting to disappoint me, whispered His peace and reminded me that true peace comes from Him and not the world or any person, thing or place on Earth.
Lately, I have found that living in a Catholic Christian community is challenging. The challenges leave me restless. And so when I get to feeling this way, I must pray for guidance, for hope and for assurance.
I am in touch with God the most and feel the most intimate expression of God’s love when I witness people helping one another and coming together to support each other in good times and bad times. Also, God’s love warms my heart when ALL of our community shares and comes together. When I witness this and am a part of this unity, the love of God seems to resonate within me and all around me in the people of our community.
Because I am tuned into this type of community, I notice when exclusion and dissention creep into our community. I notice the marginalized and feel the pain of their fracture and separation from our community.
Today, my prayer is that God will give awareness to those in our community who need a change in attitude and behavior. I pray that God will facilitate in them a change of heart, a metanoia. I pray that the “I am better than you” attitudes will be replaced with expressions of love and acceptance. I pray that all members of our community will accept and seek to learn and get to know and appreciate our diversity. I pray that all in our community will embrace the differences of each other and come to realize that when we come together and share our gifts, we will experience a whole and healthy Body of Christ. I pray that “mine” and “yours” attitude and behavior will be replaced with “ours” thinking and sharing. I pray for the leaders of our community that God will give them awareness to realize that they must model this attitude and behavior and facilitate the same through their leadership.
Let us start today to look around and ensure that ALL are included in our community. Let us seek out those who are marginalized and bring them back into our community. Let us be brave enough to point out bad behaviors and encourage a change so that we might move to expressions of acceptance and love so that we all may be ONE with God, Jesus and the Spirit.
Jesus prayed for this----that we all may be ONE (John 17). Let our unity be something we live and strive for everyday.