Two kinds of "can't"

After observing human behavior (including my own), I noticed that there are two kinds of “can’t.” As in: “I can’t do that.”

One kind of can’t is a recognition of an inability or inadequacy…but “I will try to do my best, or try my best to learn how.” I

The other kind of “can’t” is a verbalization of refusal. As in: “I can’t because I won’t do that. I refuse. My mind is made up and closed to what you are asking.”

I have encountered both of these kinds of “can’t” in the corporate and church world.

The can’t refusal is the most dangerous because it reflects a resistance to change....which causes stagnation because in order to grow, change has to happen. If we don’t change, we don’t grow.

The other kind of can’t (which recognizes inability) is an openness to change and growth. Though it might be scary and an uncertain, uncomfortable state, we can rely on another’s support in order to get through the change. Through the physical, emotional and spiritual support of friends, we can move through this kind of can’t because we are open. We accept assistance. We allow ourselves vulnerability and place trust in another to help us through change. As a result, growth happens, and growth happens together. Change and growth become a group effort—a friendly effort—a community effort. AND, when we arrive to “I can,” we find the whole community is stronger for having supported each other.

So, the next time you answer, “I can’t,” think about which of the kinds of can’t you are referring. Are you open to change and growth? Or, are you closed and prefer to stagnate?

….Something to think and pray about.

Let us pray for the grace that we CAN be always open to change and growth. Let us support each other: physically, emotionally and spiritually through the changes of our lives….the changes that allow our community to grow and become stronger.