Kill’em with Kindness

We have all heard of the saying “kill’em with kindness.” My mom had another saying of her own that she would often tell me. “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
As I reflect on that today, with the benefit of older age and more life experience (smile), I understand the powerful, profound meanings of both of those expressions and their implications involving relationship and friendship. Those expressions convey a sense of encouragement, love and kindness which we should endeavor to practice.
Found in Scripture in St Paul’s letters to the Romans (1:11-13; 15:3-5), Philippians (2:1-3), Colossians (2:1-3;4:7-9), and Thessalonians, (1Th5:10-15) St Paul wrote about how encouragement was important for the early Christians as well as important for us to practice today. Encouragement builds up the Body of Christ.
St Paul also wrote about kindness which can be found in Corinthians (2Cor6:5-7), Galatians (5:21-23) and Colossians 3:11-13. Kindness also builds up the Body of Christ and is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Gal5:22).
All four Gospels record how much Jesus talked about and practiced love and loving. Jesus even told us to love our enemies (Mt5:43-45; Lk6:26-28). And in John’s Gospel, Jesus gives a new commandment to love our neighbor as He as loved us. Like kindness, love is also a fruit of the Spirit (Gal5:22). Jesus modeled His love for God and His love for us. We only need to follow His good example.
In relationship and friendship, where two people care, support and love each other, encouragement and lovingkindness strengthens each person as well as strengthens the relationship/friendship they share. In the mutual sharing and support of the relationship, God’s presence is found because the persons are following Christ’s model and expectations for loving and serving our neighbor.
A part of supporting the other in a relationship/friendship is knowing when and how to practice active listening so that hopes, dreams, hurts, and frustrations can be expressed and heard with compassion and without judgment. Lovingkindness expressed during the times of active listening when we listen with our heart as well as our mind builds us up.
Perhaps the most challenging time to express lovingkindness is when there is conflict in a relationship/friendship, or when you are on the receiving end of mean-spiritedness from someone who is not your friend. During those times we can call on Jesus for help and strength to do the right thing and express kindness when we are face-front with the opposite. Repaying kindness with meanness may be just what is needed when someone is having a bad day and inadvertently takes it out on you. The expression of kindness may help them to get back to a sense of peace and help them to see their mean-spiritedness and help them to correct their behavior.
Let us pray for the courage and strength to follow Jesus’ model of love. Let us pray that we may give encouragement and kindness as St Paul writes about even when we may not receive those from others.